Saturday, 14 September 2013
We went to the urologist the last week of August. He went over the sperm analysis results with us. Count was pretty high, motility was at the low end of normal, and morphology was only 3%. This means 98% of his sperm are abnormal. The urologist did an exam and everything checked out okay. Then he is sending him for another analysis and hormone testing. I think he'll get that done this week. The urologist was really hopeful, especially when we told him we were pregnant before. He said he thought we would be fine. Anyways, while I was leaving the appointment, I look down at my phone and my sister had her baby! While we were learning we had fertility issues, she was having her baby. What are the odds?!? Well, I ran to the store and picked up a baby boy outfit and then to Babies R' Us to get her a c-section wrap. Then I headed up to the hospital. I cried most of the way there. It was a mix of happy tears and nervousness. God granted me such a peace that day. I felt completely happy and it was like all my troubles washed away. I am so grateful for that. I spent the day hanging out with my mom and my sister's others kids. So for a few weeks, I felt happy. Then on Wednesday, after I came home from work, I just got in bed and cried and cried. I don't know what caused it. Really, now I think it may have been seeing our stockings in the back closet and thinking we should be hanging up 3 stockings this year. The next day, my best friend called and told me she was pregnant. She stopped birth control only serveral weeks prior. She wasn't sure she was ready. She thought it would take a while. And she called to tell me the news and asked when she should expect to feel excited. I'm not sure that little sting I feel when friends tell me their news will ever go away. I think I'll always have that little ache in my heart that reminds me of us sharing our good news only to have it taken away.