Monday, 31 December 2012

Keep hoping no matter what

We've been trying for 6 months. I don't even know what to think about that. Last month was really hard for me. I just knew I was pregnant. I thought I would get to tell our families at Christmas. I cried for two days. I can't keep doing this to myself. I've got to find a way to handle trying to conceive and living a happy life. This is a whole new ball game for me. I have always been happy and hopeful. I'm trying hard to get back to that place. I've cut myself off the computer almost completely. I can't read blogs or baby websites. I'm not letting it consume me anymore. I'm still going to do opks, temping, and vitamins. I'm just going to try to keep myself busy and not let this control me. I feel like it has.

I called my obgyn when I was so upset. The nurse said he would see me after trying for 3 months. So I have an appointment on Friday. I'm not sure what it's going to entail, but I'm nervous.

I've been turning to God for hope and strength. I have an app on my phone called Devotion. It sends bible verses and a message twice a day.

Today mine said, "Have you stopped daring to hope? At times, our hope in our dreams and plans on this earth to do great things diminish when we don't see a sliver of success. But don't let that stop you from believing in yourself. Remember, even though we may not see God, our hope in His love and grace is always there. Keep hoping no matter what."

Sunday, 9 December 2012

now for the waiting

 I got a near positive OPK on day 12 and panicked. I usually ovulate on day 17 or 18 so, to get a positive this early made me mad! We hadn't BD enough. It can't be happening already! So I panicked, and we BD every night for 3 nights in a row. I got a positive OPK on day 14.  I kept on temping and my temp stayed low. I knew I hadn't O'ed yet.  So we kept at it. I finally got my temp rise today on day 17. I'm not sure why my OPK's turn positive so much earlier than when ovulation occurs. But it does give me a nice heads up! In previous months, my temp rise occured on day 18 or 19. So, my cycle shortened a little this month. This makes me hopeful! I'm glad I won't have to wait quite as long. It may only be a day or two, but I'll take what I can get! We got in plenty of BDing. I think this is the best timing we've ever had. That super early positive OPK really kicked us into gear! So happy about that!

This month, I've cut out caffeine and added green tea to my diet. I've drank one glass every morning. I also used preseed the last two times we BD. My husband has been taking his fertilaide and I've been taking ConceiveEasy. I'm hoping our hard work will pay off this month. I would love nothing more than to tell our family at Christmas. I would be the happiest girl in the world. I'm trying not to think about it too much, I don't want to get my hopes up. But, it's hard.  We want it so badly! I feel like so many people get their BFP's on their 5th month of TTC. I know 3 girls for sure, and read about countless others. Please let me be one of them!

Saturday, 1 December 2012

baby making plan.... take 5.

Well. Here I am 5 months into TTC and still no pregnancy. I've been reading up on a few fertility supplement products and decided to give it a shot. I'll try anything at this point! First, I ordered the fertibella supplements from conceive easy.

It was a total steal in my opinion. 20 HPT's and a basal temp. thermometer with 2 months worth of vitamins. After the first month, if I don't like it, I can send in the bottles and get a total refund.

The part I'm most excited about is Fertilaide for men. A different product I read amazing things about from so many reviews! It actually came in the mail yesterday and my husband started taking it last night. You're supposed to take 3 pills a day with meals. I know my husband will not remember to take this 3 times a day, so I'm thinking one at breakfast and 2 at dinner. I read a ton of comments of women who tried for years and after a few months of this got pregnant.

Today, I'm on CD 9. Let the baby dancing begin! I will be able to test a few days before Christmas. Trying to stay hopeful! All I want for Christmas is a positive test!

Monday, 26 November 2012

Cycle 5, you suck.

I started cycle #5 the day after Thanksgiving. I'm starting to freak out guys. I'm getting really scared. I know it hasn't been that long for some people, but this is long for me. I know I've ovulated every month. I stopped taking birth control 7 months ago. I don't understand what the problem is. It's so frustrating and hard for me to understand. I hate being around all these pregnant people and even being around babies is starting to be hard for me. I've also been so emotional and sensitive about this whole thing. My mom at Thanksgiving said "we voted on whether yall would have a girl or boy and everyone voted girl!" tears. While playing with our 6 month old nephew  my father-in-law said, "are you ready for one of these guys?" tears again. My husband was helping his mom with the pack 'n play and my sister-in-law said to him, "you're good at that. What's taking yall so long?" tears again. I hate all this stupid crying! I ended up talking to my mom about all of it at Thanksgiving because she noticed I was upset after she mentioned it to me. She didnt know we were trying. I really didn't want her to know, but I couldn't think of what to say. It took her a year to conceive me after a major surgery. She had all kinds of issues and understands how hard it is to wait. She will be praying for us, and I like that.

On another note, one of my students' mom's was killed in a car accident on Thanksgiving. Her dad was killed in Iraq a few years back. I'm devastated for this sweet girl. She is such a precious baby. I can't even imagine how her life will affected by this tragedy. I don't understand how our God could take two parents from an innocent child. I'm trying so so hard to have faith in God's plans for us, but it's hard right now.

Please pray for this sweet girl.

Thursday, 15 November 2012

a very weird cycle...

When I thought ttc was on hold, I didn't temp the beginning of the month. Then, once it was back on, I started temping a few days before my usual ovulation. My temps were a little higher than last month, but not by much. I took 3 days of opk's on days 16, 17, 18. I ALWAYS get a positive on day 16. This time, it wasn't positive. But, on day 18 I got the same temp rise I had gotten last month, so I am sure I ovulated. I thought today I would be about 5 dpo.

When I took my temp this morning, there was a huge temp. dip. Like lowest temp yet. by far. I think it could be because of my cold. Maybe breathing out of my mouth because I'm so stuffy. Then at lunch today, I noticed a small amount of bright red spotting. I have never had spotting before. AF isn't due for  9 days.

So then I started thinking about implantation dips and spotting. 5 dpo is too early for that though. The earliest implantation can happen is 6 dpo. Maybe I ovulated sooner than I thought? Who knows..  I had small temp increases the 3 days before day 18.

I'm not sure what to think about all this. I wish I would have temped all month. I guess we'll find out eventually!

Sunday, 11 November 2012

feeling hopeful this month

This is the middle of cycle #4. I never would have thought it would take this long. I've been off birth control 8 months now.

I posted last time about my husband's company being sold and the possibility of being laid off. We decided to put ttc on hold until things were figured out, but after lots of begging DH decided we could continue. I'm feeling really grateful that we got to try again this month. Then on Thursday after 4 years, DH got a promotion at work! It's one of those pay cut promotions that will allow tons of potential in about a year. So thankful for this! He really needed this. I'm relieved that he is excited and confident about himself again.

I never got a positive opk this month... I'm not sure what to think about that. I tested 3 days in a row and nothing. My temp did finally go up so I know I ovulated for sure yesterday. So I'm 1 day past ovulation today. I guess we will find out in about 2 weeks!!

Yesterday was a sad day for me. I think I'm just so busy at work, I don't have time to really think about it until the weekend. Well, Friday night I had a dream we had a baby. I've never had a dream like this before. I woke up feeling really sad on Saturday and it kinda lingered all day. I think it didn't help that I still hadn't gotten a positive opk and my temp was still low. My sweet husband kept saying, maybe you already are pregnant. We were laying on the couch and he laid his head on my stomach and said, "yeah, I hear something cooking up in there." so funny! He had no idea what he was talking about. I told him it was just my lunch. haha! he was trying hard to cheer me up.

I'm hopeful this month. I'll be praying so hard that this month finally works!

Sunday, 4 November 2012


I really appreciate all of your sweet comments from my last post. Thank you for being supportive and encouraging. We still don't have any news about my hubby's job, but after plenty of nagging  discussion, we have decided that we will continue trying to conceive! My husband actually agreed. Continuing was my plan all along of course. I prayed really hard about it, and he told me on Friday that he felt okay with trying because he knows it will work out some how.

I'm hopeful. I feel like now, I know he wants it (almost) as much as I do. That's really reassuring... coming from a husband who majored in finance and is a financially advisor, I never saw that coming. God is good.

A lot of our friends work for the same company so everyone knows about the lay off possibility. My friends have asked me if we will continue ttc and I told them no. That we were going to wait and see. That was before we had really decided to continue, so I wasn't lying. But, I've decided that anyone who asks...  I'm going to tell them we're taking a break. I just don't like people knowing. Especially if it's going to take this long. It was such a huge mistake to tell people we were trying, I wish I'd never said a word. So now, no one knows. Including my sister. And I want to keep it that way.

I'm trying not to think about it. I'm not temping this month. I'm staying off the pregnancy websites and the pregnancy and baby blogs I love. They've started to make me feel mostly sad instead of excited. I have this great fear that we won't be able to get pregnant. It's making me feel anxious.

Last night, our good friends came over with their 3 month old baby. He is so precious. I hated that it made me feel sad hearing her talk about all of it. She kept saying when you get pregnant... blah blah blah. I wanted to get up and leave. She also kept saying she felt guilty that they got pregnant on the first try. All of these things just make me upset. Then some other 21 year old girl came over that I didn't know. She has a 4 month old baby. I couldn't stand listening to them gabbing it up about babies and pregnancy. I tried to stay outside with the guys all night. It's frustrating to not even be able to talk to your friends.

This was a really long rant, if you read this far I'm very impressed. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts guys. At least I can blab to yall : )

Monday, 29 October 2012

an unwanted change of plans.

I'm so upset. Beyond upset. I don't even know what to write. Last week, I got my period at around lunch time. I was sad that I wasn't pregnant and really disappointed. Right after, when I went to get my purse, I saw a text from my husband saying his company was sold and there was a 60% chance of him being laid off. I had parent conferences and didn't get home until around 8 that night. He explained to me that he will know for sure by february if he's laid off or not.  I know that being laid off isn't the end of the world. We have enough savings to get by for a long time and he would get a few months pay if he was laid off. He told me the only problem is starting a family. He doesn't feel comfortable with ttc if he is laid off work. I understand his point of view, but I'm so upset. I haven't felt like this before. I'm not used to not being in control. Not being able to plan things out.

hopefully he will know something before february. I can't stand the thought of maybe having to wait 4 months to even try. At that point, it would be early spring. Being a teacher, getting pregnant from march to july isn't the best time. So, we may end up having to wait until next summer. Next summer?!?!  Then what if it takes a year to get pregnant. I'm going to go crazy!!!

I'm trying to remember a saying I saw on pinterest: worry about it or pray about it, but don't do both. I'm praying hard. I'm trying not to worry. I know something good will come of this.

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

thinking happy thoughts... maybe.

So, we're almost in the middle of the third month. It's about time to start the baby dancing again. Or at least the baby dancing that could lead to a baby... hopefully! I'm trying really hard to stay positive. But I'm almost not sure if I should. Mainly because I don't want to get my hopes up.

The first month we tried really hard. I was off for the summer and completely obsessed over it. The second month, I hardly had time to think about it. This month, I'm back to trying hard again. real hard. I even started temping each morning. I figured this would help to make sure I'm ovulating, and if something is wrong, I would at least have charts as evidence. : )

I've noticed my temp is pretty low. It's been around 96.7 and 97.0 the past few days. This would be days 5-10. When I was looking at other charts, this seemed low. Most charts were about a degree higher at the beginning of their cycle. I'm hoping that it will get higher. I also bought some preseed. I really wasn't sure if we needed it. I don't seem to have issues in this area. But I figured it couldn't hurt... I like all the BFP stories on the website after the first month! Of course I'm also taking prenatal vitamins, using OPKs, and primrose oil. I have been praying like crazy. I've never prayed so hard in my life. I mainly pray for faith and patience.

I'm open for any suggestions here. really... anything. Just don't tell me I'm trying too hard. I don't want to hear just relax and let it happen. I tried that last month. I'm over that. I'm learning more towards close your eyes, jump backwards three times, while whistling... something along those lines. At least for this month. : ) I'm willing to try anything!

Sunday, 23 September 2012

CD 1 Month 3. : (

I can't believe I'm on to month 3. This ttc thing goes so slow and so fast. I knew since the beginning of  cycle 2  that it wasn't our month. I could just tell. This month though, I'm trying to stay positive. I'm really praying and hoping that this will be the month. I really want it to be.

I feel frustrated and worried. I'm not sure why I'm not pregnant yet. I've been off birth control for 6 months. I know I'm ovulating and I know when I ovulate. We time everything right. I know I need to have faith and keep reminding myself that God is in control. But it's hard.

It's also hard when everyone in our families has gotten pregnant the first month. I really thought I would be the same. Now that I'm not, I wish no one knew about us ttc. It would make it so much easier.

I'm trying to stay positive. Third time's a charm... right?

Sunday, 26 August 2012

On to month #2

Well, I didn't get pregnant this month. About a week before my period, I knew I wasn't pregnant. I could just tell. I knew my period was coming, but I didn't expect to feel so sad when it finally did. I'm not sure it helped that it was meet the teacher night at my school. I ran to the restroom right before they opened the doors and that's when I found out that August wasn't our month. I started tearing up and had to pull it together fast because my first graders were coming down the hall. I guess the good thing is it kept my mind off of it for a few hours.

I'm so glad to be back at work... mainly because it will keep my mind busy. I won't have time to think about ttc so much now. The only hard part is that two of my teacher friends found out they were pregnant a few days before my period came. : ( I hate feeling sad when I should be happy for them. I am happy for them, but I also feel jealous. I'm not used to this feeling of jealousy... so not my personality.

I was really emotional this week. Huge stresses at work have put me over the edge between team teaching this year, a new, first year teaching partner, new principal, dealing with the organization of having a switch class, and having 26 first graders on my roll... Let's just say I was overwhelmed. Then getting my period and being so emotional from my hormones. My husband has been so sweet. He kept reminding me that it doesn't matter when we get pregnant, the goal is a baby and it will happen eventually and be well worth the wait!

I'm doing much better this week and looking forward to trying again in a few weeks. I'm feeling a lot more laid back and really not counting days or worrying about it. I think the first month had too much anticipation. I'm trusting in God and his perfect timing.

Thursday, 16 August 2012

I'm going crazy.

I've done so good with this two week wait thing. Until today.... omg! I'm going nuts! The past few days are dragging by... I just want to know already!!!!! Every little cramp makes me thing I'm pregnant. Then, when I feel nothing for several hours and start to think I'm not, then here come the cramps again. 

Today is 7 dpo (7 days past ovulation). I still haven't decided when I'll test. I was going to on Saturday or Sunday (10 dpo) but we are going to the in-laws for the night. I start back to work on Monday. 

 This is harder than I thought. I'm praying for patience yall.

Saturday, 11 August 2012

The 2 week wait...

Our first month of baby making is well underway! My last post, I was frustrated with my really late period and mad because it made our planned baby making trip (which should have been around ovulation time) not a baby making trip after all. Just a relax by the pool trip. Which now, I'm thinking is even better. We had such a fun time, there was no stress or worry about drinking. I had a few drinks every day and didn't feel bad about it.

We got back from our trip on a Sunday and for the past week, have had lots of fun! ; ) (Just for my record: days 11, 14, 16, 17, 18)  I got a positive OPK on Wednesday afternoon (day 16) So, I'm hoping we were able to time things pretty well. My OPK's turn positive 12-36 hours before ovulation. I'm saying that I ovulated on day 17... 24 hours after the positive OPK I had a few ovulation pains.

My plan is to try to stay really busy the next two weeks. This will be my last week of summer. I'm hoping to spend some time with my niece and nephew and go swimming/shopping with the kids and my sister.

Today is day 19. My cycles are 30 days long. I would be due for the terrible aunt flow on august 22. So I could test 5 days before that... But what I really want is to wait until August 24 on my birthday. How awesome would it be to get a positive test on my birthday? But then I think if it's negative, it would probably ruin my day.

What do you guys think I should do? Test early or on my birthday?

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

laundry room and closet organization

Our laundry room
The baskets are for my steam mop, garmen bags, sewing and fabric. The jars are oxy clean, clothes pins, and dryer sheets.
My sweet father-in-law put the clothes rod up for me a few weeks ago! Now our clothes can dry without covering the entire kitchen table!
This is a shelf that I added wheels to and a spring loaded rod. For the cover, I just took a sheet and cut it to size and slipped the rod through the hem line. 
This is where I keep our cleaning supplies, rags, and ironing.
Coat closet
The baskets are for scarves, reuseable bags, and shoes.

This is the linen closet. beach towels, guest sheets, master sheets, and blankets. 

UPDATE: I had originally scheduled a doctor's appointment for today. But ended up canceling it because cycle day 1 officially started today!! 8 days late, but I'm so relieved! It's exciting to start this cycle as it's our first official TTC month! I can't wait to see what happens in the next few months!!

Monday, 23 July 2012

my attitude adjustment and kitchen clean up!

Well, I'm now going on 7 days late and still no period. I was really stressing but today I've gained some peace. Tests are all still negative, but I learned that you can still ovulate again before you get your next period. So, if I skipped this period, I could still ovulate again in a few weeks if my period doesn't come before then. I'll just wait and see what happens. I have really been upset this week and I'm glad to have a different outlook. I did schedule a doctor appointment tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'll go or not now. I may end up canceling. If you guys know any other info. about missed periods and ovulation, let me know. I'm sure it will come sometime, but until then, I'm not giving up hope that we  have to wait for my period. Maybe I'll ovulate again when I was supposed to. Cross your fingers!

To keep myself busy this summer, I've been doing some cleaning and organizing around the house. I figured I'd share some pictures. Maybe it will help someone out! I'll do separate posts for each space.

Our kitchen has very little cabinet space, so I've had to get really creative on storage.

hooks for measuring cups
 shelves for extra room

spices and oils


All of my baking ingredients. I'm going to label these one day!

Protein powder, oatmeal, cereal, potatoes, onions
Shelf with sandwich bags, plastic wraps, and trash bags. Pie plate with all liquids keeps things from getting sticky

Pantry door with drink mixes and foils

I got most of my storage from wal-mart and home goods. This makes cooking dinner a little more fun
 : )

Friday, 20 July 2012

Once again, I'm frustrated. Last month, I got a false positive pregnancy test. This month, my period is three days late. That may not seem like a big deal, but for me it is. My cycles have been 30 days forever. I don't know why it's late??? I've taken several tests and all of them are negative.

What is going on? I wasn't stressed this month. I'm off for the summer so I've had less stress than usual. Hopefully AF comes soon. Let's get it over with!

I'm just tired of all this. It's just a gigantic waiting game that always lets me down.

Monday, 9 July 2012

We're almost there!

Hey guys!! I've been meaning to post for the past few days. I'm still counting down the weeks until TTC time. I can't believe it's almost here! Just a little over three weeks now!!! holy smokes!!!

I've been trying to keep myself busy with projects around the house. I was thinking I may post some of the things I've done on the blog. But, I wasn't sure... 

My sister and her 2 kids who live about 5 hours away from us are moving! They will be 20 minutes from our house and we are so excited!! It will be such a blessing to have family that close and see the kids more often!

I'm feeling really excited about the coming weeks. But, I have to say, I also have had a case of cold feet. For a few weeks, I started to feel nervous and scared about this decision. Most of my fear came from knowing that my husband had said all along that he wanted to wait for 5 years to have kids once we were married. When my baby fever hit hard after the first year, we decided to meet in the middle... he agreed to bumping it up 2 years and I agreed to waiting for 2 years. So now that it's finally here, there have been lots of conversations about if he really wants this. Before he would say things along the lines of I promised you this summer, if you asked me in 10 years I would probably want to still wait a while. Meaning he will never really feel ready, but he wants it because that's what I want. 

I started to picture myself with a screaming newborn and no sleep. And then thinking about how he would feel towards my decision to have kids sooner. 


But, I talked with a few friends and they all said the same thing. Women emotionally connect to the idea of having kids and there's no pushing those feelings aside. Men on the other hand, don't have those hormonal feelings. A lot of my friends said that their husbands weren't dying for kids either, with a have to have them now feeling. They wanted kids, but maybe just further down the road. someday. My sister said that you can always find a reason to wait a little longer and before you know it, you're old. : )

All of these things gave me some comfort. But what helped the most, is yesterday when we went out to dinner. I brought up what I saw as a major problem that he hadn't even thought twice about. Earlier that day at this parents' house, they asked if we would want to go on a family vacation to Destin next August. My husband was of course so excited and said yes! The first thing I thought was no. 

So at dinner I mentioned to him that we may have a newborn: 3 months at the oldest, probably younger, or I'll be super pregnant. hopefully. His response was, oh yeah. We started talking about this little problem and how it could all work out. My husband said, "so we have to skip a year, but maybe they'll go again the year after." 

For some reason, this made me feel like he really was ready. He understands there will be sacrifices to make, but that it will all be worth it in the end... and he didn't even look disappointed about the possibility of not going. 

Another reason. We had a family wedding the day before that and of course we get the question all. the. freaking. time.  You guys next? When are ya'll having kids? I hate this question. It's awkward. Should I say, "I was ready 2 years ago, but he's not. Go ask him." Of course not. That would be disrespectful. Although I may say something along those lines sometimes. This weekend, when we were asked that question every time my husband would say not too much longer. And his response would come with a smile instead of a nervous twitch. 

These are just a few reasons why my cold feet have warmed up some. We are both excited and nervous together, but we're as ready as we'll ever be. That is all I needed to know.


Thursday, 14 June 2012

a sad day...

After lunch today, I ran out to a few stores. I was looking for containers to reorganize our pantry. I started to feel a little queasy and my stomach felt crampy. So, I ran home to lay down and felt better after a while. I thought it was strange to feel so nauseous one second and better 10 minutes later. So, I ran to Walgreens to buy a pregnancy test. I took the test and noticed 2 faint lines. I blinked a few times and my heart started racing. There were definitely two lines. I. was. positive.

I tried not to freak out and decided to get a better pregnancy test. I need to know for sure. So, I ran to CVS this time (so the walgreens lady wouldn't think I was nuts) and bought another box. I took the test as fast as I could and it was negative.

Now, I'm just feeling really down. I knew I probably wasn't pregnant. We aren't trying quite yet, but we aren't really not trying either. I knew I shouldn't have taken that stupid test. But I did. And now I'm really upset.

I just can't forget that feeling I had when I saw 2 lines. It's indescribable. I know my time will come, but it's really hard waiting. I'm not sure if I should tell my husband about what happened today or not. He might think I'm crazy. So, I figured I'd tell you guys instead.

Before Baby Lady

Monday, 28 May 2012

I've run out of things to say...

I feel like I've sort of run out of things to talk about on here. I'm just playing the waiting game for now. The only thing that's new is I completely finished my to-do list: got all of my cavities filled and finalized my insurance. I'm still continuing to eat healthy and workout. I'm proud of myself for keeping up with the diet and exercise plan. I haven't lost anymore weight, but I'm pretty happy with where I'm at. I originally wanted to lose 10 more pounds, but I'm not sure if it's worth it to work really hard to get them off if I may be pregnant soon. So, I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. If I lose more though, I'll be happy!

I finished reading those three preconception books I talked about on my previous post and even started doing the workouts they suggested. I've also been doing yoga once a week.

My insurance is ready to go for pregnancy. I stayed on the same plan but added short term disability. This will pay me about 3000 over the 8 weeks I would be unable to work. We also put 2000 on a flexible spending account. It's tax free so it will save us 20%. So far, I have 20 sick/personal days that I've saved up over the years. So, I'll get full pay for that month or so, and then get the disability on top of that. I'm glad we got it all figured out. My husband seems to be more excited and less anxious now that we have the cost sorted out.

1. Preconception appointment
2. Start prenatal vitamins

3. Vaccinations
4. Obgyn search
5. Go off the pill

6. Insurance
4. Start and stick to a workout schedule
7. Lose weight
8. Eat only "real" food (nothing processed)
9. Have cavities filled
10. Read up!

It also looks like a whole lot will change next year at work. New principal, departmentalizing for the first time, and a new teaching partner. I teach first grade outside of Dallas and this was my fourth year of teaching. I was really upset at first to find out about all of these changes, but now I think they are for the better. God always has a plan. I need to learn to trust him more.

 I am used to teaching all 7 subjects, next year, I will only teach reading, writing, and word work. This means half the planning and preparation, and less trainings. Also, teaching language arts means you have a fairly calm and quiet classroom with a little more sitting. I think this will be a plus if I'm pregnant. I'm really trying to have a positive attitude about it all! Also, my teaching partner is from my home town! How does that even happen?? She is so sweet and kind. I know God had a huge hand in this arrangement! 

I feel bad for never blogging. But I jut don't have a lot to say. Hopefully, in a couple months, I'll have lots to post about! I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel you guys... 9 weeks until August. 9 weeks...


Before Baby Lady

Friday, 4 May 2012

Two lines... finally!

No, I'm not talking about the two pink lines that mean your life has changed forever. I'm just talking about the two blue lines on the ovulation test. This morning, I took the seventh and final test in the ovulation pack.
 It came back with 2 blue lines!! yessss!

This makes me happy because for one, now I know I am actually ovulating! Hopefully, this will help me get pregnant faster when we do start trying. This was the 16th day of my cycle.

I'm interested to know when they will start to get more regular.

Thursday, 3 May 2012

Ovulation Frustration!

I told you guys this would be my place to over share. If that's not your thing, skip this post! Please!

I've been trying to figure out when I ovulate. So maybe in a few months, it will be easier to get pregnant.

I took my last pill in March and had a period that was 6 days long. On the 9th day of my cycle, I felt cramps on my right side and sort of knew I was ovulating. I also gained 2 pounds over night and had some major cervical mucus. I remember this feeling from high school. Do any of you know when you're ovulating just by knowing your body? I think I can totally tell. Anyways, that cycle was 30 days long.

 Then, in April I got my period again. This was my first period after stopping the birth control and I had cramps for 2 weeks before my period and then an 8 day long period. Horrible. This makes me really miss the pill.

So currently for this month, after the 8 day period, I started doing ovulation tests to see when I was ovulating.  I bought the Equate brand from the store and used a test each morning for 6 days. It said to start testing on day 10. If you see two lines, you know you're ovulating or will be within 2 days. So Saturday, I took the first test and there was nothing. I took two more. Still nothing. The third test I took showed no lines. Great! So I guess it was faulty.  And the last two have had only one line. But, I had the same little cramps on the left side and more cervical mucus. So, I'm not sure if the tests just aren't working. Or maybe I'm doing it wrong.

The exciting news:  We have planned a baby making vacation! I think I ovulate at the beginning of the month. So, we are planning on taking a trip for our 3rd wedding anniversary at the beginning of August and start trying to make babies! I can't wait!

Here's the main question I have for you guys: Can you tell when you ovulate??

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

For Your Pre-Pregnancy Reading Enjoyment

For the people out there like me, who need to know as much as possible to keep their sanity... I've pulled together the list of books I've read for preconception. These were great resources, and I'd recommend all three of them. New research shows that it doesn't take just 9 months to have a baby, but more like 12. At least 3 months to prepare your body and then the additional 9.
  • What To Expect Before You're Expecting - This one is informative but a little cheesy. I found myself thinking enough with the jokes already.  The first section was the most helpful and is all about getting ready to conceive. From vaccinations to Dr. appointments, weight, and diet. The second section was how to make a baby. I'm not sure if I just wasn't paying attention in health class or just totally missed something, but I learned a lot!     
  • Get Ready to Get Pregnant - If you're only going to read one pre-conception book, this would be the one to read. It was the most informative. Almost too informative. I found myself feeling a little overwhelmed when it began talking about all the toxins in your home and cleaning supplies. Not to mention the bashing of meat due to dioxins. It goes into depth on diet and nutrition. There is also an entire chapter on preconception appointments and what you should ask your doctor about. This was my favorite one! It's packed full of info and a very quick read.                                                                        
  • Before Your Pregnancy: a 90 Day Guide -  This one is pretty lengthy. I'm still not finished reading it. I loved the preconception visit chapter. It had a list of questions you should ask your obgyn and what to expect on your visit. There is also great information on exercise and getting into shape.                                                    

Since reading these books I've made some changes that have included losing weight, working out more, having my cavities/dental work done. I also floss every night now and take prenatal vitamins. I went for my preconception visit and updated my vaccines.

 I sooo wish I could just skip forward already! August, hurry up!!!!

Before Baby Lady

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Love You Forever

I remember in kindergarten, going to the school library with my class. The librarian read us a book called "Love You Forever." I remember how hard she was crying, and how I had to fight back tears after hearing the story. I was 5. 

Maybe it was because the teacher was crying or maybe I sort of got it. But this book has always made me emotional. If you have never read it, it's about a little boy who's mom rocks his to sleep and sings him a song. She sings to him each night as the little boy grows up, until he's a grown man. She continues to rock and sing to him while he sleeps. At the end, the boy gets a call that his mom is very sick and he picks her up and rocks her back and forth singing the song. Then, he goes home to his own house and rocks his new baby girl back and forth singing the lullaby his mom always sang to him. t.e.a.r.s.

So, this week at school, we are doing an author study on Robert Mulsch. (I teach first grade to the sweetest group of kids ever. seriously. it's the best) I had several of his books sitting out and of course, my students wanted me to read this one. So, I did. I actually was able to hold it together. (some of the kids thought the story was funny. It is really creepy that she still rocks him to sleep... and they were giggling. I can't really blame them though) 

So I asked, "do you think Robert wrote this book to be funny?" My little Alyssa piped up and said, "No. He is trying to show that even when you grow up, your mom will still love you just like she did when you were her baby. Because you will always be her baby." 

Then, I looked around the room and could see all their little minds soaking this up. I could even see tears swelling up in some of their eyes. They got it too. Just like I did. 

(click above to watch the video)

This is why I love kids and so badly want a baby of our own.

Before Baby Lady

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Paleo and Pregnancy

I know when you mention pregnancy and diets, most people freak out. Well, here goes nothing!

Over the past three months, I have drastically changed my diet. My sister and a few friends had started this Paleo diet. I had never heard of it and always thought it sounded nuts! No grains, no dairy... what?!? But I saw these friends lose lots of weight and keep it off. They also felt fantastic.

I on the other hand, had gained some weight since high school. About 25 pounds. Knowing I wanted to get pregnant, I needed to lose this weight and give my body some time to stabilize before gaining pregnancy pounds. So, I decided to try it.

The first week, I cut out grains. The next week, dairy. After that, I slowly increased my exercise regimen. This led to a loss of almost 20 pounds since January. My goal is to lose about another 10 pounds. But the better news is I feel awesome! I have twice the energy I used to! Normally, I would go to sleep around 9 every night (or earlier). Now, I can easily make it to 11 without feeling tired the next day. I still go to bed at a decent hour, but I can enjoy nights with my husband without feeling exhausted. Not to mention, I've lost 2 pants sizes and my clothes fit so much better!

So, what is Paleo? Paleo is the idea that we should be eating the way men ate thousands of years ago. Like cavemen. They ate meat, vegetables, and fruit. Grains, bread, chips, and cookies, these thing were not part of their diet. Our bodies haven't evolved enough to process these grains. Grains are processed. I have cut out all processed foods.

When you stop eating grains, you will no longer be starving. In the past, I would feel sick if I didn't eat every 4 hours or so. Now, I'm hardly ever hungry. Those hunger pains are long gone.

Also, grains cause your body to retain water. All of us are walking around with unnecessary pounds of water weight. When you stop eating grains, you will lose tons of water weight (pee a lot) and keep it off too.

I love eating this way and love the way I feel.

So, here's the drama...

I don't want to stop eating this way. I want to continue this diet when I'm pregnant and even after that. I don't want to go back to my old ways and feel like crap again.

So I'm going to keep eating this way. I've done lots of research and really feel like it's best. Most women eating Paleo and pregnant have found they have less nausea, more energy, and less weight gain. My friend gained 30 pounds when pregnant with her first two kids. Once she started paleo, she only gained 18 ponds for her last two pregnancies.

I'm really not even concerned about the weight. I just want to eat healthy food and feel healthy. Paleo is the way to do that.

I'm excited to see if I can keep it up and how this all works out for me.

Not to mention eatings boat loads of vegetables, fruit, and lean meat make you super fertile!

Just a few paleo resources:



Friday, 6 April 2012

Before Pregnancy to-do's

There are a few things we want to get in order before I get pregnant. I've slowly checked several things off the list!

1. Preconception appointment
2. Start prenatal vitamins
3. Vaccinations
4. Obgyn search
5. Go off the pill
6. Insurance
4. Start and stick to a workout schedule
7. Lose weight
8. Eat only "real" food (nothing processed)
9. Have cavities filled
10. Read up!

We are going to change my insurance in August during open enrollment.

I'm currently working on the losing weight, working out, and eating healthy. I didn't want to cross them off, because I have to keep it up!

I have two appointments scheduled to get my cavities filled. I have several cavities. Like maybe, 6?!? That's so embarrassing! I'm getting 3 done this week and 3 more done at the end of the month. Some people may wonder why I need to get this done before pregnancy. You can't have cavities filled when you're pregnant or nursing. So, this could be a very long time for me. I'd rather have everything taken care of before then.

I've also read 2 preconception books and am working on the third one. These were recommended by I will do reviews on these books later on.

I know some of you must think I'm a crazy, over-the-top person. I'm a planner. I always have been. When it comes to something as important as health, I will feel so much more comfortable knowing I did everything I could to be healthy. The only thing more comforting is knowing that
all is in God's hands. He has greater plans than we can ever imagine.


Before Baby Lady

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Preconception Appointment... and I think I'm cursed!

Seriously? If I was crazy, I would think someone was trying to tell me I shouldn't get pregnant! Last week, I lost my keys at my doctor appointment (located in the hospital) and waited around for 3 hours. Today, at my preconception appointment (also located in the hospital) all the tornados started to hit. I was once again, stuck at the hospital for over 2 hours! What in the world is going on? Let's say it's been very eventful!

Well, I really got to know the nurses and doctors at the obgyn office, considering we were in a small hallway taking shelter. Other than that, I will say that it went really well! The nurse was very friendly and no one thought I was crazy for coming in (one of my fears.) It was a pretty general check-up including pap-smear and urine test. The doctor came in before the exam to meet me and perform the consultation. He discussed my health and family history and the medicines that I take. I showed him my vitamins and he gave me a free sample of prenatals. They also gave me a website to order more prenatal vitamins which is way cheaper. It's about $50.00 for a 3 month supply. Then he discussed some key elements of conceiving based on my cycle.

I came to the appointment with several questions, but he ended up answering most of them for me. I did ask him his c-section rate. For first time moms, he is about 29%. The national average is 31%. This was pretty comforting. C-sections are really scary to me, and I'd like to avoid one if possible. He said, "my patients have to prove that they are unable to deliver before he allows a c-section."

{I had done some research about this particular hospital. It has much higher c-section rates than average hospitals. I've heard it was due to the higher income levels in the area and women wanting them scheduled. Not because it was needed.}

My doctor mentioned this to me. He also said that you would have to twist his arm to get a scheduled c-section, and that he was really against them. He also let me know that he was for the minimum amount of medicine as possible.

This is exactly what I wanted to hear. I left the office feeling relieved to have found someone I liked and excited!

Let's just hope that my next appointment (whenever that will be) will not be so dramatic!

Before Baby Lady

Finding an obgyn

I have used the same obgyn for a few years. I was happy knowing she would be the one I would see when I found out I was pregnant! Last Monday, I remember thinking I should call and schedule a preconception appointment with her. On Tuesday, I got a letter in the mail saying she is no longer covered on my insurance. WHAT?!?

So being me, I sat down and started researching obgyns. HOLY SMOKES there are sooo many choices. We live in a very big city and let's just say I was overwhelmed.

Hubby and I made a game plan. Because we have different insurance, and we're not sure which insurance I will need to be on, we pulled the list of doctors that each of our insurance companies covers. Then, we deleted any doctor that wasn't on both of our insurances.

Then, I decided to go with only male doctors. Is it just me, or do ya'll have bad experiences with female doctors sometimes? They just aren't as kind to me sometimes. Not ALL of them. I loved my female obgyn that is no longer covered, but some of them. My sister told me that male doctors seem to sympathize with pregnancy more because they don't know what it's like. They have to be kind and understanding. This made sense to me. So I went with it.

I then deleted all the doctors that weren't super close to my work and home. Then, I started checking out their websites.

The first doctor I looked at, well he was in his 40's. And he looked nice ya'll! And by nice, I mean kind. friendly. normal.

And the cherry on top... he delivers at the best hospital ever. It's like a resort. AND on his website he had information on preconception appointments! What?!? None of them had that!

And the best part of all...

When I was locked out of my car at the hospital (see my last post) for 3 hours. I saw a lot of doctors coming and going. A lot.

The only doctor to even acknowledge me sitting there looked very familiar to me. I thought I knew him. Well, guess who it was.... the obgyn. The one I had just chosen! He smiled and gave me a little head nod. None of the other doctors even looked up. So this tells me... he is kind and friendly! I think I picked a good one!

I'll let y'all know. My appointment with him is tomorrow!

Monday, 2 April 2012

A Quick Catch-Up and a LONG Check-Up

Here is a little info. to catch you guys up! Last spring, I had my heart set on getting pregnant. I felt like it was the right time and was really excited. My husband on the other hand, wasn't quite ready. So, we decided to wait another year. A very long year! But I decided to make the best of it and enjoy being married and really start getting healthy.I was pretty upset, but I knew this would be for the best. Looking back now, I'm so glad we decided to wait it out this year. I learned a lot about being a wife and a lot about patience.

I have worked really hard to get my diet in tip-top shape and my weight. Over the past few months, I've lost almost 20 pounds! Can you believe that?!? I still hope to lose maybe 10 more pounds, but feel so much better about myself. I'm back in the normal range on the BMI scale. Yay for that! More to come on how I've lost the weight later!

March 17, I swapped my birth control pills out for prenatals. I have taken birth control for about 6 years. I want to give my body a good 3 to 4 months to regulate before trying to conceive. This puts us at July or August to start trying. Come on summer! I can't wait much longer!

The dr. visit!
I have read 3 pre-conception books over the past few months (more on that later, too). Each of the books stressed the importance of being up-to-date on vaccinations. That's right. Shots. Not my most favorite thing.

In college, I got chicken pox. Yep. College. And to make it worse, it was my first semester. I remember the dr. mentioned I should be extra careful about getting pregnant because it was a very mild case. So, I scheduled an appointment with my family doctor two days ago. I got the T-dap vaccine and he took blood to test my immunity to chicken pox. I'm still waiting on the results...

Now for the good part...

All the nurses knew why I had scheduled the appointment and were so excited! On my way out the door, I couldn't find my car keys!! I looked everywhere and went back to the desk to see if I had left them. All the nurses were helping me look. Nothing.

I just knew the what the nurses were thinking... "here's this young girl, wanting to get pregnant, and she can't even keep up with her keys!" It didn't help I was wearing my college t-shirt. I thought the whole thing was pretty funny.

So, it turns out, I had dropped them on the floor board in my rush to be on time. And to make it even sweeter, my husband's phone was dead. Perfect! I called his work and he had already left. So, I decided to post this witty little status on facebook about being stuck at the dr. and asking him to come get me. This was a good idea because this is how he knew to call me, but also a bad one...

Once he got home, he finally called me and started looking for the spare keys, but they were no where to be found, so I called a-1. By the time the man finally arrived, I had been at the Dr. for over 3 hours. While I was waiting on him to get the door open, several people stopped to make little comments about my shirt. "Didn't you learn anything at that fancy college" or "That must be a good school you went to." Funny, but irritating after 3 hours of waiting around. To make it even better, I had phone calls all night from family members and friends asking if I was sick or if something was wrong. I had to lie and just say it was a check-up. I'm telling you... it's sooo hard to keep secrets! And I don't even have anything to hide... yet! What will I do when I'm actually pregnant!?!

So that was my first experience at this whole getting ready to get pregnant thing! Very eventful I'd say!


Before Baby Lady

Saturday, 31 March 2012

Here Goes Nothing...

Welcome to my secret blog about conception and pregnancy! This is where I will disclose everything from pre-conception planning and weight loss to trying to conceive and hopefully (fingers crossed) a pregnancy!

I got this idea from Stephanie over at She had an anonymous blog to share about trying to conceive! It was way too cute to not make one of my own!

You may have arrived here by a comment from someone you probably don't know in the blog world. I have always loved reading pregnancy blogs and wanted to start one of my own! I invited you because I love your blog!

Lord willing, we will be on our way to parenthood in the next several months. Because I have trouble keeping things quiet and also want to remember our journey, I will blab it all here to ya'll. Once we let our families know of our big surprise, I will continue this story on my other blog.

My plan is to keep this whole thing a secret until it's appropriate to tell the whole world. So that means, you will be the first to know (besides my husband of course)!!

A little about us...

My husband and I are both in our mid-twenties. We have worked hard the past few years to prepare financially and settle down for this big chapter in our lives! I have dreamed (or obsessed) about one day having kids for quite a while now. My husband was not as sure until here lately. We considered trying this time last year, but decided it would be best to wait another year. Well, that year is FINALLY HERE!

Why it's such a big secret...

First up, TMI. I want to be able to talk freely about it all! I don't want to hold back... worried about what other people might think. So therefore, it will be anonymous.

Secondly, I want to avoid awkward conversations with people asking if we're pregnant yet. You never know how long this is going to take. It seems much easier to put it all here and not feel tempted to tell my family and friends. My sweet husband doesn't even know about the blog. I'm sure he thinks I'm totally baby crazed, heck I even think I am! Maybe this will keep me from driving him insane about every detail! : )

Lastly, I want to be able to remember all of these exciting times. I have the worst memory ever and don't want to forget all of our decisions and conversations we will have about becoming parents.

I'd love to have you follow along with me through this journey! I'm sure to need lots of advice and would love to know what you think! This is going to be fun!!


Before Baby Lady