I've been trying to keep myself busy with projects around the house. I was thinking I may post some of the things I've done on the blog. But, I wasn't sure...
My sister and her 2 kids who live about 5 hours away from us are moving! They will be 20 minutes from our house and we are so excited!! It will be such a blessing to have family that close and see the kids more often!
I'm feeling really excited about the coming weeks. But, I have to say, I also have had a case of cold feet. For a few weeks, I started to feel nervous and scared about this decision. Most of my fear came from knowing that my husband had said all along that he wanted to wait for 5 years to have kids once we were married. When my baby fever hit hard after the first year, we decided to meet in the middle... he agreed to bumping it up 2 years and I agreed to waiting for 2 years. So now that it's finally here, there have been lots of conversations about if he really wants this. Before he would say things along the lines of I promised you this summer, if you asked me in 10 years I would probably want to still wait a while. Meaning he will never really feel ready, but he wants it because that's what I want.
I started to picture myself with a screaming newborn and no sleep. And then thinking about how he would feel towards my decision to have kids sooner.
But, I talked with a few friends and they all said the same thing. Women emotionally connect to the idea of having kids and there's no pushing those feelings aside. Men on the other hand, don't have those hormonal feelings. A lot of my friends said that their husbands weren't dying for kids either, with a have to have them now feeling. They wanted kids, but maybe just further down the road. someday. My sister said that you can always find a reason to wait a little longer and before you know it, you're old. : )
All of these things gave me some comfort. But what helped the most, is yesterday when we went out to dinner. I brought up what I saw as a major problem that he hadn't even thought twice about. Earlier that day at this parents' house, they asked if we would want to go on a family vacation to Destin next August. My husband was of course so excited and said yes! The first thing I thought was no.
So at dinner I mentioned to him that we may have a newborn: 3 months at the oldest, probably younger, or I'll be super pregnant. hopefully. His response was, oh yeah. We started talking about this little problem and how it could all work out. My husband said, "so we have to skip a year, but maybe they'll go again the year after."
For some reason, this made me feel like he really was ready. He understands there will be sacrifices to make, but that it will all be worth it in the end... and he didn't even look disappointed about the possibility of not going.
Another reason. We had a family wedding the day before that and of course we get the question all. the. freaking. time. You guys next? When are ya'll having kids? I hate this question. It's awkward. Should I say, "I was ready 2 years ago, but he's not. Go ask him." Of course not. That would be disrespectful.
Although I may say something along those lines sometimes. This weekend, when we were asked that question every time my husband would say not too much longer. And his response would come with a smile instead of a nervous twitch.
These are just a few reasons why my cold feet have warmed up some. We are both excited and nervous together, but we're as ready as we'll ever be. That is all I needed to know.