Monday, 26 November 2012

Cycle 5, you suck.

I started cycle #5 the day after Thanksgiving. I'm starting to freak out guys. I'm getting really scared. I know it hasn't been that long for some people, but this is long for me. I know I've ovulated every month. I stopped taking birth control 7 months ago. I don't understand what the problem is. It's so frustrating and hard for me to understand. I hate being around all these pregnant people and even being around babies is starting to be hard for me. I've also been so emotional and sensitive about this whole thing. My mom at Thanksgiving said "we voted on whether yall would have a girl or boy and everyone voted girl!" tears. While playing with our 6 month old nephew  my father-in-law said, "are you ready for one of these guys?" tears again. My husband was helping his mom with the pack 'n play and my sister-in-law said to him, "you're good at that. What's taking yall so long?" tears again. I hate all this stupid crying! I ended up talking to my mom about all of it at Thanksgiving because she noticed I was upset after she mentioned it to me. She didnt know we were trying. I really didn't want her to know, but I couldn't think of what to say. It took her a year to conceive me after a major surgery. She had all kinds of issues and understands how hard it is to wait. She will be praying for us, and I like that.

On another note, one of my students' mom's was killed in a car accident on Thanksgiving. Her dad was killed in Iraq a few years back. I'm devastated for this sweet girl. She is such a precious baby. I can't even imagine how her life will affected by this tragedy. I don't understand how our God could take two parents from an innocent child. I'm trying so so hard to have faith in God's plans for us, but it's hard right now.

Please pray for this sweet girl.


  1. It's feeling extra hard for me lately too. I'm super moody and cried all of Thanksgiving too with everyones awesome comments. I agree that 7 months off the pill hoping is a super long time. I know people have waited longer, but that doesn't make it any easier now... :( I feel for you. My fingers are still crossed for you!

  2. thanks Chelsea. I feel like I get more and more anxious every month and I know that's not helping. thinking of you!!!

  3. Hello there. I just stumbled across your blog (home from work sick and blog reading of course :)) and just had to comment. I will certainly say some prayers for you, but keep your head up and remember everything happens when it is supposed to!

  4. hi! thanks for reading! thank you for your prayers! hope you feel better soon!