Keep hoping no matter what

We've been trying for 6 months. I don't even know what to think about that. Last month was really hard for me. I just knew I was pregnant. I thought I would get to tell our families at Christmas. I cried for two days. I can't keep doing this to myself. I've got to find a way to handle trying to conceive and living a happy life. This is a whole new ball game for me. I have always been happy and hopeful. I'm trying hard to get back to that place. I've cut myself off the computer almost completely. I can't read blogs or baby websites. I'm not letting it consume me anymore. I'm still going to do opks, temping, and vitamins. I'm just going to try to keep myself busy and not let this control me. I feel like it has.

I called my obgyn when I was so upset. The nurse said he would see me after trying for 3 months. So I have an appointment on Friday. I'm not sure what it's going to entail, but I'm nervous.

I've been turning to God for hope and strength. I have an app on my phone called Devotion. It sends bible verses and a message twice a day.

Today mine said, "Have you stopped daring to hope? At times, our hope in our dreams and plans on this earth to do great things diminish when we don't see a sliver of success. But don't let that stop you from believing in yourself. Remember, even though we may not see God, our hope in His love and grace is always there. Keep hoping no matter what."

now for the waiting

 I got a near positive OPK on day 12 and panicked. I usually ovulate on day 17 or 18 so, to get a positive this early made me mad! We hadn't BD enough. It can't be happening already! So I panicked, and we BD every night for 3 nights in a row. I got a positive OPK on day 14.  I kept on temping and my temp stayed low. I knew I hadn't O'ed yet.  So we kept at it. I finally got my temp rise today on day 17. I'm not sure why my OPK's turn positive so much earlier than when ovulation occurs. But it does give me a nice heads up! In previous months, my temp rise occured on day 18 or 19. So, my cycle shortened a little this month. This makes me hopeful! I'm glad I won't have to wait quite as long. It may only be a day or two, but I'll take what I can get! We got in plenty of BDing. I think this is the best timing we've ever had. That super early positive OPK really kicked us into gear! So happy about that!

This month, I've cut out caffeine and added green tea to my diet. I've drank one glass every morning. I also used preseed the last two times we BD. My husband has been taking his fertilaide and I've been taking ConceiveEasy. I'm hoping our hard work will pay off this month. I would love nothing more than to tell our family at Christmas. I would be the happiest girl in the world. I'm trying not to think about it too much, I don't want to get my hopes up. But, it's hard.  We want it so badly! I feel like so many people get their BFP's on their 5th month of TTC. I know 3 girls for sure, and read about countless others. Please let me be one of them!

baby making plan.... take 5.

Well. Here I am 5 months into TTC and still no pregnancy. I've been reading up on a few fertility supplement products and decided to give it a shot. I'll try anything at this point! First, I ordered the fertibella supplements from conceive easy. http://www.conceiveeasy.com/get-pregnant/what-is-fertibella/

It was a total steal in my opinion. 20 HPT's and a basal temp. thermometer with 2 months worth of vitamins. After the first month, if I don't like it, I can send in the bottles and get a total refund.

The part I'm most excited about is Fertilaide for men. A different product I read amazing things about from so many reviews! It actually came in the mail yesterday and my husband started taking it last night. You're supposed to take 3 pills a day with meals. I know my husband will not remember to take this 3 times a day, so I'm thinking one at breakfast and 2 at dinner. I read a ton of comments of women who tried for years and after a few months of this got pregnant.

Today, I'm on CD 9. Let the baby dancing begin! I will be able to test a few days before Christmas. Trying to stay hopeful! All I want for Christmas is a positive test!