Wednesday, 24 July 2013

when your sister is pregnant and you're not

we had my little sister`s wedding shower this past weekend. My older sister is due in about a month. I've talked about how she was just a few weeks ahead of  me in her pregnancy. she's also the girl that has gotten pregnant as soon as she decides she wants to all three times. Then chooses to constantly complain and gripe about how awful being pregnant is. So, needless to say the past 6 months I've kept my distance. The shower this weekend meant I had to be around her for 3 days straight. It took all I had to sit there and listen to the  complaining and baby talk all weekend. I just don't understand. I'm the one person in her life that is sensitive to this right now and she can't suck it up? She knows what I've gone through. How does she not filter herself?

once she left, my mom told me that she knew this weekend was really hard for me and thanked me for the help with the shower. Then she said now she understands my side of the story. She saw how hard my sister made it for me. Well of course sister called mom bawling her eyes out on the way home saying none of this was her fault and she doesn't know what she did wrong.

last night, my sister called me and wanted to talk about it. She did apologize about a hundred times for anything she may have said. She told me she does try really hard to be sensitive and then went on to tell me about all the times she has run around the house hiding books and pictures. And how when we are out shopping she doesn't look at maternity clothes or send me ultrasound/ nursery pics. But she also said hurtful things like her friends that had miscarriages said they only think about it when filling out paperwork at the doctor... (ouch). I said I bet that was years ago for them and they all have kids now. Also, she said because of me she didn't announce the pregnancy for a long time. Which I don't  get,because she announced 2 weeks after our miscarriage. The day before her son's birthday party with all the family coming. with the whole Facebook status of the chalkboard family pic. And a giant blog post about a "real, live baby."she also said that I've  made the pregnancy miserable and that no one cares about her. And said she cried for days after my miscarriage. Like any of this makes me feel better??? Why is it always about her? She just doesn't understand. I know she never will, but she could at least try to be considerate. Which I don't feel she does. She just doesn't think before she talks. She said pregnancy is just awful several times in front of me and I finally called her out on it. And she says well it is! What's more awful is not being pregnant when you should have been. I told her that she should just not complain around me and she said should try. It wasn't 5 seconds later when she started again saying how bad she felt that weekend. Called her out again and she said well I did feel bad!

Anyways this was just a rant. I'm not sure what to do about her. My heart is still broken and i just can't fake happy for her. I'm sorry. I'm really worried about when the baby comes. Any advice???


  1. Chris's cousin was pregnant the first time I was. We were due two months apart. I couldn't attend her baby shower. I also could only be around the baby for a few minutes at a time. The first time was the hardest. My advice is to have someone with you the first few times and have a code word or look that let's them know you are ready to leave. Then that person can say you guys need to get going, not you. Also, don't let her come to your house with the baby. You go to her so you can decide how long is long enough.

    Honestly, however you feel or handle it is the right way. Everyone deals with things differently and there is no right or wrong.

    You will get your rainbow baby. Hugs lady!!

    1. Bridgette, you are so sweet to offer this advice! Thank you for your help. It means so much to me.

  2. I don't really have any advice, but I can totally see why you feel exactly the way you do! My sister is the same way--it's always about her. She's obviously perfect! HA!

    Chin up. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. It wasn't easy and you did it anyway.