Friday, 18 January 2013

The day I was hoping for!

January 17th was the best day of my life. After 6 months of trying, I felt defeated. I was concerned. Why wasn't this working for us? There had to be a problem. I cried and prayed more than I ever have. Then, this month. I threw in the towel. I decided not to focus on anything baby related. I worked out, cooked lots, and read books. I spent time with my husband and wasn't glued to the computer researching. Around New Year's, we had a few days off. This was very helpful! : ) We just hung out and slept late and enjoyed ourselves. I was happy during that 2 week wait. Unlike previous months. I had let it go. That was, until my sister came over with her pregnancy news. Then, I. Was. Devestated. I cried and cried and cried. I remember laying in the bed crying and thinking, well I think I could go ahead and test. Maybe I'm pregnant too. So of course, I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. As I watched the little line move across the screen, I saw nothing. Threw it away, and went back to my miserable moping. (What I wouldn't give to see that test now.)

I knew my period was coming. I had cramps. I was emotional. I was so tired. This was the first month, I didn't test like a crazy person. I had given up. The previous month my cycle was 27 days. Well, the 27th day came, and no period. I kept telling myself that last month was just a fluke and I'll get my period the regular 31st day. After the 27th, 28th, and 29th. I came home from work and was watching tv. I decided I would take one more test. I took the test and left it on the bathroom counter. I went back to watching tv and eventually remembered about the test. As I was walking to the bathroom, I told myself, "it's going to be negative. it's always negative." I had accepted this was not going to happen for me. Cue shock as I see 2 lines. One pretty faint but easy to see at first glance. I stared at that thing long and hard. I thought something was wrong with the test because I had never used that brand before. But my heart started to race. I grabbed the cup and ripped open another brand of tests I had.  Immediately, I see another line. A pretty good line. I still didn't trust this one because it tricked me the previous month. So I grab for the queen of all pregnancy tests. The First Response. I dipped that one and sat there staring as 2 dark lines appeared. Then, I really freaked yall. I started shaking and talking to myself. The tears were flowing. I also had a digital test. Because of course, I still wasn't sure. That box took me forever to open. I almost went mad. I dipped that test and sat there waiting. Staring at that little sand timer. I remember walking away and praying. Praying that this was really it. That I would finally be a mom. That we could have a family. Then, I walked back in and:

I've never felt anything like it. Indescribable. I dropped to my knees and thanked God.


12 comments:

  1. Congrats congrats congrats!!!!! It's the most wonderful feeling EVER!

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  2. Congrats! It really is amazing, isn't it?! So happy for you!

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  3. Chills all over my body! This is amazing... SO HAPPY FOR YOU! It's a feeling you can't describe!

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  4. Perfect! I'm so so happy for you!! Isn't it just the best thing ever?!!

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