Friday, 18 January 2013

The day I was hoping for!

January 17th was the best day of my life. After 6 months of trying, I felt defeated. I was concerned. Why wasn't this working for us? There had to be a problem. I cried and prayed more than I ever have. Then, this month. I threw in the towel. I decided not to focus on anything baby related. I worked out, cooked lots, and read books. I spent time with my husband and wasn't glued to the computer researching. Around New Year's, we had a few days off. This was very helpful! : ) We just hung out and slept late and enjoyed ourselves. I was happy during that 2 week wait. Unlike previous months. I had let it go. That was, until my sister came over with her pregnancy news. Then, I. Was. Devestated. I cried and cried and cried. I remember laying in the bed crying and thinking, well I think I could go ahead and test. Maybe I'm pregnant too. So of course, I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. As I watched the little line move across the screen, I saw nothing. Threw it away, and went back to my miserable moping. (What I wouldn't give to see that test now.)

I knew my period was coming. I had cramps. I was emotional. I was so tired. This was the first month, I didn't test like a crazy person. I had given up. The previous month my cycle was 27 days. Well, the 27th day came, and no period. I kept telling myself that last month was just a fluke and I'll get my period the regular 31st day. After the 27th, 28th, and 29th. I came home from work and was watching tv. I decided I would take one more test. I took the test and left it on the bathroom counter. I went back to watching tv and eventually remembered about the test. As I was walking to the bathroom, I told myself, "it's going to be negative. it's always negative." I had accepted this was not going to happen for me. Cue shock as I see 2 lines. One pretty faint but easy to see at first glance. I stared at that thing long and hard. I thought something was wrong with the test because I had never used that brand before. But my heart started to race. I grabbed the cup and ripped open another brand of tests I had.  Immediately, I see another line. A pretty good line. I still didn't trust this one because it tricked me the previous month. So I grab for the queen of all pregnancy tests. The First Response. I dipped that one and sat there staring as 2 dark lines appeared. Then, I really freaked yall. I started shaking and talking to myself. The tears were flowing. I also had a digital test. Because of course, I still wasn't sure. That box took me forever to open. I almost went mad. I dipped that test and sat there waiting. Staring at that little sand timer. I remember walking away and praying. Praying that this was really it. That I would finally be a mom. That we could have a family. Then, I walked back in and:

I've never felt anything like it. Indescribable. I dropped to my knees and thanked God.


  1. Congrats congrats congrats!!!!! It's the most wonderful feeling EVER!

  2. Congrats! It really is amazing, isn't it?! So happy for you!

  3. Chills all over my body! This is amazing... SO HAPPY FOR YOU! It's a feeling you can't describe!

  4. Perfect! I'm so so happy for you!! Isn't it just the best thing ever?!!